Public Service Announcement

I enjoy many things French: french bulldogs, berets, saying "ooh la la", pepe le pew, french fries (ESPECIALLY french fries), and speaking in a faux French accent whenever the opportunity presents itself (i.e. always). However, one of the things I cannot stand is a bad french manicure [Please note: good french manicures do exist...but they're kind of like stumbling across a Unicorn]. Bad french manicures are typically waaaaay too long, square tipped, and were air-brushed (nike swoosh and crystals optional) by an asian woman that told you, "square tip in right now!". If you find yourself wondering if you fall in the "acceptable" or "tragically tacky" range, then you most likely have/have had the tragic version. If you're STILL unsure which category you fall into (god help you) then take this simple test: 1. Do you prefer Myspace to Facebook? If you answered "yes" to this question, you definitely have a bad french mani (and you also probably are waaay too tan, have bleached white hair, "looooooove the color pink", have a bedazzled t-shirt reading "spoiled" or "princess", and regularly take pictures of yourself rocking a sideways peace sign (so as to show off your lovely nails, of course (!!!))....essentially, you're my worst fear (m.w.f.)).

Over the years, I've discovered that many people share my opinion on this topic. Much to my delight, I've even had some of my guy friends and even my dad (!!!) point out bad frenchies to me. However, I didn't realize how far the hatred had reached until picking up the most recent copy of Us Weekly [quick side bar...if you're still reading that as: U.S. Weekly, as in United States Weekly, kill yourself. quickly]. But I digress....back to Us Weekly. On the June 1, 2009 cover, the top story is about/demonizing Kate Gosselin, otherwise known as the Kate of TLC's hit show, Jon and Kate Plus 8. For those of you that don't devour celebrity smut at the rate that I do, Jon had recently been caught cheating on Kate with a much younger woman....which is awful of him unless you consider what a terrible nagging wench that Kate is portrayed as on the show. Anyways, the article goes on and on about how Kate has gone "Hollywood", is a bad mom, diva, etc. Then, Us dropped this beautiful bomb comparing Kate to the evil "Octomom": genius! genius! genius! Well done, Us, well done. You've offically gained my respect for your hard-nosed investigative journalism and my continued readership.

***side note: Kate's manicure is an example of an acceptable fm while Octo-mom, in all her tackiness, is an example of m.w.f. (my worst fear....keep up, people).