magic bullet

Infomercials are truly one of my favorite things [side note: CANNOT say the phrase "favorite things" without mentally picturing "brown paper packages tied up with string". I have done this for as long as I can remember]...but I digress....to recap: infomercials are one of my favorite things [there it is again]. As intended, I often find myself wondering how I have lived without the particular gadget being marketed and will often watch the entirety of this glorified hour long commercial without realizing that any time has passed at all. If you're one of those obnoxious people that "don't watch tv" (or worse; don't own one) and are unfamiliar with infomercials, they're usually aired at around 3am and prey on those that can't sleep. Since I had taken a Lunesta earlier in the evening (ie. the apparent equivalent of shooting up with adrenaline and slamming a red bull), I happened to be among those that couldn't sleep last night. Around 4am an infomercial came on for the Magic Bullet....that mini food processor/smoothie maker/something I have no use for yet desperately want, and is billed as the "personal, versatile, counter top magician".

Yes, magician.

Right around the time they slashed off 2 of the easy payments (!!!) and was reaching for my credit card, I was suddenly distracted. Very distracted. Let me explain: During the infomercial, the two main hosts had been cooking food for various extras/assumed lifelong friends whom all appeared to be garden variety infomercial extras. Half way through the infomercial, however, the makers of The Magic Bullet inexplicably added a "friend" named "Hazel". To my estimation, Hazel was approximately 20 years older than the rest of the people in the commercial and is suspected (by me) to be a man. She (term used loosely) was a mix between Dorothy and Rose on the Golden Girls (picture this: Sicily - 1942), was wearing the type of house coat that old people wear with a cig in her mouth that had approximately three INCHES of ash at the end of it at all times. I was completely perplexed by this turn of events, so I quickly turned to google to see if other people had said anything about apparent anomaly. Nothing. Nothing. at. all. I don't get it and am d.e.v.e.s.t.a.t.e.d.
Surely, I cannot be the only person that found Hazel's appearance unusual? So. I implore you; the tens of people that read my blog, to watch the magic bullet infomercial if you get the opportunity and witness the carnage that ensues. It remains the strangest thing I have ever seen on television without an even an offer of explanation. sigh. Do yourself a favor and don't miss this spectacular sight.