i dont remember anything that happens right before i go to sleep, or right after i wake up...or when i drink...i've pooped my pants almost every single year of my adult life...i'm always late but i hate it when others are...i'm a mass of contradictions...no i'm not...i'm clumsy and i always have bruises...i hate showering...i'm the best at bragging...i change my hair color all of the time, i dont get sick of the color, i just really want to showcase the diversity of my good looks...i reference commercials constantly...i love to sleep, but i hate going to bed...i'm a member of the clean plate club, and i'll finish my food even if i feel like i may burst...i dont like capital letters, lowercase for life...i'm a bad driver...paula abdul claps like a monkey with a set of cymbals...i just had to call brooklynn to see how to spell "cymbals" and neither of us knew how to spell it...lose expensive pairs of sunglasses and manage to retain cheap ones...i'm curiously strong (like the altoid of muscles)...i exaggerate and i'm a bad speller, however, i'm still awesome.
Sham Whoops!
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